MUSIC
Why were clarinets invented?For one of three reasons.
To make an oboe that looks good, to mess up someone's fingers, or so there would be someone to steal reeds from.
Why were oboes invented?
To make you hyperventilate.
Why were flutes invented?
To hit the person on the right.
Why were piccolos invented?
To give the whole orchestra a headache.
Why were trumpets invented?
To make people go deaf.
Why were trombones invented?
To break your arm.
Why were baritones invented?
Because someone thought the tuba should have a baby.
Why were string instruments invented?
To frustrate a person in tuning them.
Q: What's the difference between drummers and government bonds?
A: Government bonds eventually mature and earn money.
Q: How can you tell which kid on the playground is the child of a trombonist?
A: They don't know how to use the slide and can't swing.
Q: What do trumpet players use for birth control?
A: Their personalities.
Two tuba players walk past a bar...Well, it could happen!
Q: What's the difference between a dead saxophonist and a dead skunk in the road?
A: There are skid marks infront of the skunk.
Q: What do you get when you cross a piccolo and a clarinet?
A: An earache.
Q: How do you get a clarinetist out of a tree?
A: Cut the noose!
Q: What's the difference between a clarinet and a mouse?
A: You can't hear a mouse squeak over the entire band!
Q: Why do oboists put their oboes in clarinet cases?
A: So they won't get stolen!
Q: What do a clarinet and a law suit have in common?
A: Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.
Q: If most musicians are either high or low, what does that make an orchestral third clarinetist?
A: Confused.
Elene~~~~~~~~~